I placed some turtles on a pretty tiered plate and set it on the entry table by mom's nativity.
Showing posts with label mom. Show all posts
Showing posts with label mom. Show all posts
Monday, January 2, 2012
On the Twenty Third Day.... Caramel Turtles
December 23, 2011
Today I made mom's Caramel Turtles. And I learned something new. When I was going through mom's recipes, I found the original card. This delicious Caramel Turtle recipe was handed down from Grandma (Ida) Bates.
I placed some turtles on a pretty tiered plate and set it on the entry table by mom's nativity.
I placed some turtles on a pretty tiered plate and set it on the entry table by mom's nativity.
Wednesday, December 14, 2011
On the Fourteenth Day.... Wise Men
December 14, 2011
The Wise Men followed the Star to Bethlehem, seeking the baby Jesus. To me, the Wise Men stand for knowledge and wisdom. They were thoughtful in the gifts they brought Him. I hope I am wise in the gifts I give the Savior. Being grateful, providing service, being compassionate, patient, faithful, forgiving, and showing forth love and good works are all good gifts I hope to become wise in.
I love mom's hand-painted Nativity. The colors of the robes on the Wise Men are warm and colorful. Mom's Nativity sits on the entry table in the dinning room. The lights are just like mom positioned them, and when I turn them on, my thoughts take me back to her home in Carbonville with the Nativity sitting in the kitchen bay window. And that brings me peace!
I love mom's hand-painted Nativity. The colors of the robes on the Wise Men are warm and colorful. Mom's Nativity sits on the entry table in the dinning room. The lights are just like mom positioned them, and when I turn them on, my thoughts take me back to her home in Carbonville with the Nativity sitting in the kitchen bay window. And that brings me peace!
On the Tenth Day.... Family!
December 10, 2011
Today was our yearly Christmas dinner with mother. Eventhough she was not there physically, for a moment while we were eating I felt her and dad's presence. I have no doubt they were there with us. I could hardly contain my emotions.
The day, and weekend, was filled with family, love, and gratitude. I am so grateful for my brothers and sisters and love them all very much. I was so happy to stay in the guest room Kelley so lovingly put together. The beautiful treasures and memories of mom surrounded me and brought comfort, peace, and joy to my heart. I so enjoyed making dinner with Kelley and Leslie. We had a good laugh making mom's rolls! Kelley dumped the entire amount of flour in the mixer at once and it did not like that. It refused to mix in and oozed over the top, making it unmanageable. Needles to say, we started over.
Mom bought me the beautiful Nauvoo plate when us girls and mom went there. I will treasure the trip forever. The wood carved Cardinals sit next to the plate and remind me of mom. She loved cardinals.
The day, and weekend, was filled with family, love, and gratitude. I am so grateful for my brothers and sisters and love them all very much. I was so happy to stay in the guest room Kelley so lovingly put together. The beautiful treasures and memories of mom surrounded me and brought comfort, peace, and joy to my heart. I so enjoyed making dinner with Kelley and Leslie. We had a good laugh making mom's rolls! Kelley dumped the entire amount of flour in the mixer at once and it did not like that. It refused to mix in and oozed over the top, making it unmanageable. Needles to say, we started over.
Mom bought me the beautiful Nauvoo plate when us girls and mom went there. I will treasure the trip forever. The wood carved Cardinals sit next to the plate and remind me of mom. She loved cardinals.
On the Seventh Day.... Carolers and Tree
December 7, 2011
Mom's handmade Carolers and Grandma Bates Ceramic Christmas Tree sit on the counter in the Butler's Pantry. It brightens up that corner of the house and brings me so much comfort every time I pass them.
On the Fourth Day.... Angel Mother Heart
December 4, 2011
Just where I want her! My Angel Mother Heart hanging in the center of the tree. It is a sweet reminder of mother.
Sunday, December 4, 2011
My Golden Plates
November 9, 2011
When I picked up the mail today, I found a surprise.... a package sent anonymously. I call it my Golden Plates - a disk containing the genealogy of our family, tucked away inside the manila envelope. A note with some general information of how to get started on family research was included. I have been so stressed out thinking about the responsibility of mom's genealogy. That's about all I have been able to think about since she passed away.
The last time I was at her house, we got out some of her family history books. She told me some more family stories, which I always looked forward to. Before I left, she took me in her bedroom and showed me some very important papers on her cedar chest. She told me that she wanted me to take good care of her family genealogy and continue the work. She showed me a blue file folder containing her family history... the Perry line went back to 6 A.D. She held it next to her heart! She wanted me to know where it was, it was that important to her. After mom went to the Care Center I saw the blue folder move from the floor to the table... to??? I never felt quite comfortable in taking it, although I knew I should have. The blue folder with the genealogy is lost... no where to be found. My heart has hurt over that.
The disk may not mean the same thing to all of us, but to me it means mom is watching over me. She is trying to make it as easy as possible for me. I feel like she had a hand in sending me my Golden Plates. Thank you Angel Mother! I won't let you down.
When I picked up the mail today, I found a surprise.... a package sent anonymously. I call it my Golden Plates - a disk containing the genealogy of our family, tucked away inside the manila envelope. A note with some general information of how to get started on family research was included. I have been so stressed out thinking about the responsibility of mom's genealogy. That's about all I have been able to think about since she passed away.
The last time I was at her house, we got out some of her family history books. She told me some more family stories, which I always looked forward to. Before I left, she took me in her bedroom and showed me some very important papers on her cedar chest. She told me that she wanted me to take good care of her family genealogy and continue the work. She showed me a blue file folder containing her family history... the Perry line went back to 6 A.D. She held it next to her heart! She wanted me to know where it was, it was that important to her. After mom went to the Care Center I saw the blue folder move from the floor to the table... to??? I never felt quite comfortable in taking it, although I knew I should have. The blue folder with the genealogy is lost... no where to be found. My heart has hurt over that.
The disk may not mean the same thing to all of us, but to me it means mom is watching over me. She is trying to make it as easy as possible for me. I feel like she had a hand in sending me my Golden Plates. Thank you Angel Mother! I won't let you down.
Tuesday, November 8, 2011
Sweet Reminders of Mom
November 7, 2011
I filled the crystal candy dish with sweet reminders of mom.
I filled the crystal candy dish with sweet reminders of mom.
Dark Dove Chocolate!
Sunday, November 6, 2011
Drying Mom's Flowers
October 21, 2011
I took the flowers out of mom's sewing basket to dry today. Pretty.
I took the flowers out of mom's sewing basket to dry today. Pretty.
Saturday, October 29, 2011
Empty
October 12, 2011
I unpacked my suitcase for the last time today. At least to mom's house. I'm feeling like it looks.... empty inside. I miss my mother terribly. I'm sure time will help ease the emptiness. But for now, I just don't feel like too much of anything.
I unpacked my suitcase for the last time today. At least to mom's house. I'm feeling like it looks.... empty inside. I miss my mother terribly. I'm sure time will help ease the emptiness. But for now, I just don't feel like too much of anything.
Friday, October 28, 2011
Blessed Mother
October 5, 2011
A difficult post today... I called Leslie first thing in the morning to see how mom was doing. Leslie had left mom sleeping soundly at the Nursing Home and went to the house to shower and get ready for the day. Our conversation was one of doubt, fear, and a little panic over her medication changes.
I packed my bag to stay until my mother's death. Horrible. But I knew in my heart that it was going to happen. It took me awhile to get everything packed. At around 12:30 p.m. Leslie called and asked if I had left yet. She sounded stressed. She said mom did not look good. She wanted me to hurry. I felt like I needed to hurry. By the time I stopped for gas and got a bite to eat, it was around 2:00 when I left Ogden. I stopped at Deseret Book Company in Spanish Fork to pick up a couple of books to read over the next couple of weeks while I tended to mom's side at the Nursing Home.
I got to Price around 6:00 p.m. and went straight to the Nursing Home. When I entered the room, Kelley and Leslie were on either side of mom, holding her hands and crying. I panicked and raced to their sides, asking "what's wrong?". Mom said "Carol, you're always late". We had a good laugh. Kelley said mom had just got through having a catheter put in. It took awhile and hurt her very badly. Mom cried out "Gethsemane" a couple of times. Leslie ran far away from the room so she could not hear mom's cries. Kelley was following, but abruptly went back in to hold mom's hand and comfort her. She knew mom needed her. I'm so grateful that she did. Mom was shaking so bad after that experience. It was so hard, not only on mom, but Kelley and Leslie too.
Leslie had mom tell me who she heard and saw earlier in the morning. "Dad!" My heart was full of joy! Mom had waited so long for this moment... for dad to come and get her. She needed that reassurance that he was there, he loved her, and would take her home. It was earlier in the morning, just after Leslie got back to the Nursing Home, she walked into mom's room to hear her calling "Jim, Jim, is that you?" Dad was calling her name. Mom drifted off to sleep and woke a short time later. "I saw dad. He told me he had come for me last night, but there was too much chaos in the room and I couldn't hear him." She told Leslie "it has started."
Mom was concerned that one of Natalie's boys had drowned. We had her talk to Bill on the phone to reassure her that no one had. I called Shaniel and asked her to come up and look at mom's urine bag. The urine was so dark. Mom lost a lot of fluid very fast once the catheter was put in... three liters, which is very dangerous in itself. They had to clamp the catheter off after each liter flushed out of her body.
Shaniel came up to the Nursing Home to check on mom. Mom said "Shaniel, is that you", with glazzed over eyes. "Yes, grandma, it's me". Shaniel rubbed grandma's arm, kissed her, and told her she loved her. Those were grandma's last words. We didn't know it at the time. She drifted off to sleep. Shaniel left around 7:00 p.m.
Not too long after, Kelley and I went to her house to fix supper and bring some back up to Leslie. I was going to sleep next to mom tonight while Kelley and Leslie went out to mom's house to clean and organize and put some important boxes away.
We got back to the Nursing Home around 9:00 p.m. Leslie had put the nurses off from giving mom her pain medication just minutes before. She was sleeping soundly and Leslie felt uneasy about having her get another dose. Leslie ate her dinner, and us three girls were quietly visiting on the bed. Our conversation was concentrated on our desire for our mother to have a sweet, quiet, peaceful surrounding when she passed. The aides came in around 9:30 p.m. to change mom's position in bed. She moaned out in pain. Shortly after, the nurse came in with a syringe and slowly dropped the medication into her mouth. She was not swallowing it. They swabbed her mouth. She was not responding to it. Was she just so, so sleepy? The nurse checked mom's respiration's by placing her hands on her chest, watching her stomach, and timing her breaths per minute. She said it was good. Us three girls went back to visiting quietly on the bed next to her.
At 10:00 p.m., something was different. We looked over at mom at the exact same time. We rushed to her side in a panic. She was leaving us! So suddenly, without warning. We girls linked arms and prayed over our mother, thanking Heavenly Father for her. We were so blessed to have her as our mother. We knew mom's time had come. The nurse was called in. She confirmed our fears. Mom displayed the last signs of life, which could last anywhere from several hours up to a week. Leslie called Bill and Steven. The nurse left the room for us to have privacy with our mother. There were sobs, pleadings to our Father In Heaven to relieve her suffering and take her home, and continual prayers of gratitude for the privilege of having her as our mother. Mom took another breath, clenched her jaw, as if she were pushing her spirit out of her body. The nurse was called back in. Another breath 2 minutes later. A tear ran down mom's right cheek. Another 4 minutes went by without a breath. She was gone. Our mother was gone. Mom courageously and sweetly passed from this life, through the veil, and entered into the presence of our Father In Heaven at 10:20 p.m.
A difficult post today... I called Leslie first thing in the morning to see how mom was doing. Leslie had left mom sleeping soundly at the Nursing Home and went to the house to shower and get ready for the day. Our conversation was one of doubt, fear, and a little panic over her medication changes.
I packed my bag to stay until my mother's death. Horrible. But I knew in my heart that it was going to happen. It took me awhile to get everything packed. At around 12:30 p.m. Leslie called and asked if I had left yet. She sounded stressed. She said mom did not look good. She wanted me to hurry. I felt like I needed to hurry. By the time I stopped for gas and got a bite to eat, it was around 2:00 when I left Ogden. I stopped at Deseret Book Company in Spanish Fork to pick up a couple of books to read over the next couple of weeks while I tended to mom's side at the Nursing Home.
I got to Price around 6:00 p.m. and went straight to the Nursing Home. When I entered the room, Kelley and Leslie were on either side of mom, holding her hands and crying. I panicked and raced to their sides, asking "what's wrong?". Mom said "Carol, you're always late". We had a good laugh. Kelley said mom had just got through having a catheter put in. It took awhile and hurt her very badly. Mom cried out "Gethsemane" a couple of times. Leslie ran far away from the room so she could not hear mom's cries. Kelley was following, but abruptly went back in to hold mom's hand and comfort her. She knew mom needed her. I'm so grateful that she did. Mom was shaking so bad after that experience. It was so hard, not only on mom, but Kelley and Leslie too.
Leslie had mom tell me who she heard and saw earlier in the morning. "Dad!" My heart was full of joy! Mom had waited so long for this moment... for dad to come and get her. She needed that reassurance that he was there, he loved her, and would take her home. It was earlier in the morning, just after Leslie got back to the Nursing Home, she walked into mom's room to hear her calling "Jim, Jim, is that you?" Dad was calling her name. Mom drifted off to sleep and woke a short time later. "I saw dad. He told me he had come for me last night, but there was too much chaos in the room and I couldn't hear him." She told Leslie "it has started."
Mom was concerned that one of Natalie's boys had drowned. We had her talk to Bill on the phone to reassure her that no one had. I called Shaniel and asked her to come up and look at mom's urine bag. The urine was so dark. Mom lost a lot of fluid very fast once the catheter was put in... three liters, which is very dangerous in itself. They had to clamp the catheter off after each liter flushed out of her body.
Shaniel came up to the Nursing Home to check on mom. Mom said "Shaniel, is that you", with glazzed over eyes. "Yes, grandma, it's me". Shaniel rubbed grandma's arm, kissed her, and told her she loved her. Those were grandma's last words. We didn't know it at the time. She drifted off to sleep. Shaniel left around 7:00 p.m.
Not too long after, Kelley and I went to her house to fix supper and bring some back up to Leslie. I was going to sleep next to mom tonight while Kelley and Leslie went out to mom's house to clean and organize and put some important boxes away.
We got back to the Nursing Home around 9:00 p.m. Leslie had put the nurses off from giving mom her pain medication just minutes before. She was sleeping soundly and Leslie felt uneasy about having her get another dose. Leslie ate her dinner, and us three girls were quietly visiting on the bed. Our conversation was concentrated on our desire for our mother to have a sweet, quiet, peaceful surrounding when she passed. The aides came in around 9:30 p.m. to change mom's position in bed. She moaned out in pain. Shortly after, the nurse came in with a syringe and slowly dropped the medication into her mouth. She was not swallowing it. They swabbed her mouth. She was not responding to it. Was she just so, so sleepy? The nurse checked mom's respiration's by placing her hands on her chest, watching her stomach, and timing her breaths per minute. She said it was good. Us three girls went back to visiting quietly on the bed next to her.
At 10:00 p.m., something was different. We looked over at mom at the exact same time. We rushed to her side in a panic. She was leaving us! So suddenly, without warning. We girls linked arms and prayed over our mother, thanking Heavenly Father for her. We were so blessed to have her as our mother. We knew mom's time had come. The nurse was called in. She confirmed our fears. Mom displayed the last signs of life, which could last anywhere from several hours up to a week. Leslie called Bill and Steven. The nurse left the room for us to have privacy with our mother. There were sobs, pleadings to our Father In Heaven to relieve her suffering and take her home, and continual prayers of gratitude for the privilege of having her as our mother. Mom took another breath, clenched her jaw, as if she were pushing her spirit out of her body. The nurse was called back in. Another breath 2 minutes later. A tear ran down mom's right cheek. Another 4 minutes went by without a breath. She was gone. Our mother was gone. Mom courageously and sweetly passed from this life, through the veil, and entered into the presence of our Father In Heaven at 10:20 p.m.
Mother.... oh, how I love you!
Mom's Health Care Plan
October 3, 2011
My brothers and sisters and I, and mom, had a Health Care Meeting with Parkdale Care Center concerning mom's future Health Care Plan. Do we leave her in the Nursing Home? Do we take her home and put her on Hospice? She is unable to help lift or move herself at this point. She is in multi-system failure. Her kidney's are not working at all. The fluid is not getting flushed out. It's retaining in her body. She is so swollen, everywhere. She gained over 7 lbs. since last week. She is so miserable and in so much pain. An aid tried lifting her a week or so ago and tore a muscle in her chest. The physical therapist discovered the injury. Another setback! No more physical therapy. Mom is so fragile. Could we really take care of her at home? So many questions.
After meeting with Parkdale, my siblings and I went to Dr. Potter's Office and talked with him. After much discussion on mom's condition and her desire to be relieved of her suffering, Dr. Potter said he would meet with mom and us kids at the Care Center at 7:00 p.m. When the doctor saw mom and the condition she was in he said it did not look good. He asked mom if she wanted to live 2 more months in that condition, or two weeks. She said she wanted to go. We talked to mom and discussed what she could expect. Her heart medication and insulin would be taken away and a new pain medication would replace the morphine, to relieve her itching and make her as comfortable as possible. Did I really understand the immediate implications? Did mom? I think not! But one thing we all knew.... mom's Health Care Plan was completely in the Lord's hands. We had collectively petitioned the Lord on mom's behalf. We had faith, we trusted in Father In Heaven's Plan for her.
I slept in the bed next to my mother tonight. I felt her spirit so close to mine. It was pure. It was clean. It shone brightly in spite of her dying body. I felt peace. She seemed to sleep good. I was thankful for that!
My brothers and sisters and I, and mom, had a Health Care Meeting with Parkdale Care Center concerning mom's future Health Care Plan. Do we leave her in the Nursing Home? Do we take her home and put her on Hospice? She is unable to help lift or move herself at this point. She is in multi-system failure. Her kidney's are not working at all. The fluid is not getting flushed out. It's retaining in her body. She is so swollen, everywhere. She gained over 7 lbs. since last week. She is so miserable and in so much pain. An aid tried lifting her a week or so ago and tore a muscle in her chest. The physical therapist discovered the injury. Another setback! No more physical therapy. Mom is so fragile. Could we really take care of her at home? So many questions.
After meeting with Parkdale, my siblings and I went to Dr. Potter's Office and talked with him. After much discussion on mom's condition and her desire to be relieved of her suffering, Dr. Potter said he would meet with mom and us kids at the Care Center at 7:00 p.m. When the doctor saw mom and the condition she was in he said it did not look good. He asked mom if she wanted to live 2 more months in that condition, or two weeks. She said she wanted to go. We talked to mom and discussed what she could expect. Her heart medication and insulin would be taken away and a new pain medication would replace the morphine, to relieve her itching and make her as comfortable as possible. Did I really understand the immediate implications? Did mom? I think not! But one thing we all knew.... mom's Health Care Plan was completely in the Lord's hands. We had collectively petitioned the Lord on mom's behalf. We had faith, we trusted in Father In Heaven's Plan for her.
I slept in the bed next to my mother tonight. I felt her spirit so close to mine. It was pure. It was clean. It shone brightly in spite of her dying body. I felt peace. She seemed to sleep good. I was thankful for that!
Mom's poor swollen arm and hand... my heart aches for her
Wednesday, October 19, 2011
A Special Fast for Mom
September 30, 2011
First thing this morning, I went to Logan to attend the Temple. Mom's health and suffering have been on my mind unceasingly. I wanted to be as close to the spirit as I possibly could, and I knew that it would be in the Lord's house.... a sacred house where I could petition the Lord on mom's behalf. I started a fast last night, along with my brothers and sisters. Through combined faith, prayer, and fasting, I knew Father In Heaven would hear and answer our's and our mother's prayers. I had faith that He would ease my mother's suffering and pain. I knew He loved her. I trusted that He had a plan for her and that everything would be all right.
When my brothers and sisters and I meet on Monday for mom's long term health care plan, I have faith that we, along with mom's health care providers and the doctor, will receive correct inspiration and guidance in her behalf. Mom has endured so much for so long and has waited patiently on the Lord. She has been faithful until the end. Oh, how I love her with all my heart!
First thing this morning, I went to Logan to attend the Temple. Mom's health and suffering have been on my mind unceasingly. I wanted to be as close to the spirit as I possibly could, and I knew that it would be in the Lord's house.... a sacred house where I could petition the Lord on mom's behalf. I started a fast last night, along with my brothers and sisters. Through combined faith, prayer, and fasting, I knew Father In Heaven would hear and answer our's and our mother's prayers. I had faith that He would ease my mother's suffering and pain. I knew He loved her. I trusted that He had a plan for her and that everything would be all right.
When my brothers and sisters and I meet on Monday for mom's long term health care plan, I have faith that we, along with mom's health care providers and the doctor, will receive correct inspiration and guidance in her behalf. Mom has endured so much for so long and has waited patiently on the Lord. She has been faithful until the end. Oh, how I love her with all my heart!
I love you too!
September 28, 2011
It has not been easy getting a hold of mom. I was finally able to talk to her this morning. Kelley was there and handed her the phone. "I've been thinking about you, mom. I miss you so much. I love you!" And then a familiar, beautiful, frail, shaky, broken voice on the other side of the phone said "I love you too". I asked her a few questions. She could hardly hear me. She could hardly get the words out. She was crying. "They are so mean to me." I could hear the anixety in her voice. My heart was breaking. I wanted to rush to her side and comfort her. I asked to talk to Kelley. I was sad. I couldn't stop crying. I panicked and wanted to come right down. Kelley said mom had been weepy and crying all week. She was miserable and in pain. She was so sad. I planned on going to Price in just a few days and Shaniel would be here the day after tomorrow to can peaches with Audrey. There was so much going on. I didn't go down, but my heart hurt and I was so worried about mom.
It has not been easy getting a hold of mom. I was finally able to talk to her this morning. Kelley was there and handed her the phone. "I've been thinking about you, mom. I miss you so much. I love you!" And then a familiar, beautiful, frail, shaky, broken voice on the other side of the phone said "I love you too". I asked her a few questions. She could hardly hear me. She could hardly get the words out. She was crying. "They are so mean to me." I could hear the anixety in her voice. My heart was breaking. I wanted to rush to her side and comfort her. I asked to talk to Kelley. I was sad. I couldn't stop crying. I panicked and wanted to come right down. Kelley said mom had been weepy and crying all week. She was miserable and in pain. She was so sad. I planned on going to Price in just a few days and Shaniel would be here the day after tomorrow to can peaches with Audrey. There was so much going on. I didn't go down, but my heart hurt and I was so worried about mom.
I took this picture of mom on Sunday, September 18th. She looks like an angel. How is is possible that so much has changed in 10 short days?
Curio Cabinets
September 27, 2011
I found this beautiful curio cabinet on ksl.com. I didn't realize that it was almost identical to mom's until I got it home. The only difference is that it was re-painted a soft buttery cream yellow. It complements the dinning room's deep red wall. I carefully placed mother's, grandmothers, great-grandmothers, and my special dishes on the glass shelves. I am so thankful to mom for entrusting me with these beautiful treasures of the past.
I found this beautiful curio cabinet on ksl.com. I didn't realize that it was almost identical to mom's until I got it home. The only difference is that it was re-painted a soft buttery cream yellow. It complements the dinning room's deep red wall. I carefully placed mother's, grandmothers, great-grandmothers, and my special dishes on the glass shelves. I am so thankful to mom for entrusting me with these beautiful treasures of the past.
Mom's treasures come from all around the world... collected by her and dad and given as gifts from her children. Her Santa collection has always been a favorite.
Mom's Pans
September 26, 2011
Dave went to Las Vegas for the week. So... do I stay here, or do I go and spend the week with mom? Because Shaniel's family was coming up on Friday and I had to go to Price to a health care meeting on mom in a week, I decided the most logical thing to do was to stay home, clean, organize, and find a place for things I had gotten from mom's house.
The day Dave left I went straight to work. I put mom's set of pans in a drawer underneath the stove. Using them daily will remind me of her love of cooking and the delicious, colorful, well-balanced meals she lovingly fixed our family everyday. I hope I can measure up!
Dave went to Las Vegas for the week. So... do I stay here, or do I go and spend the week with mom? Because Shaniel's family was coming up on Friday and I had to go to Price to a health care meeting on mom in a week, I decided the most logical thing to do was to stay home, clean, organize, and find a place for things I had gotten from mom's house.
The day Dave left I went straight to work. I put mom's set of pans in a drawer underneath the stove. Using them daily will remind me of her love of cooking and the delicious, colorful, well-balanced meals she lovingly fixed our family everyday. I hope I can measure up!
Monday, October 17, 2011
One more walk outside, please!
September 20, 2011
"Just one more walk outside, please"! Mom's last plea before I headed back home to Brigham City. We went outside for a stroll... East to the end of the block. Mom sat in her wheel chair and I sat on the bench. We watched the cars go up and down the street, visited, and enjoyed the fresh air one last time. I can't stand that I am leaving my mother, again. September is the busiest month of the year for farming. I do all the deliveries. And Kelsey and Audrey have a birthday outing planned for me tomorrow.
"Just one more walk outside, please"! Mom's last plea before I headed back home to Brigham City. We went outside for a stroll... East to the end of the block. Mom sat in her wheel chair and I sat on the bench. We watched the cars go up and down the street, visited, and enjoyed the fresh air one last time. I can't stand that I am leaving my mother, again. September is the busiest month of the year for farming. I do all the deliveries. And Kelsey and Audrey have a birthday outing planned for me tomorrow.
Mom looks so pretty in her floral top. And I just love those painted eyebrows!
The Three Musketeers!
September 18, 2011
The Three Musketeers! That's what we are. Every year, Mom takes Kelley and I out to lunch to celebrate our birthdays together, since our birthday's are only a week apart. This year was no exception, even with mom in the nursing home. Mom is always up to having a good party. In fact, one day Leslie asked her what she was going to miss most when she is gone, and she said "the parties and family get togethers".
We started our day going to church with mom.... a favorite thing for me to do with her. For lunch mom wanted Chinese. It was closed so we choose the next best thing. A Frosty from Wendy's. We added a meal from KFC to make our meal complete.
After lunch, Rachel joined us and we took mom for a walk across the street to CEU. Kelley was pushing mom across the street and hit a (crater) very large crack in the road. We just about dumped her out! That's all we needed... a call to 911 and have our mother picked up from the middle of the road. We surely would have killed her. We quickly turned her wheelchair around and pulled her backwards, making it both easier and safer.
We found a nice shady patio and sat, visited, and enjoyed the beauty of the impending Fall. The fresh air was so pleasant. Mom loves to get out of the care center and into the fresh air as much as possible. She looked like an angel today.... so beautiful and at peace. Kelley is always a hoot and entertained us. We celebrated another wonderful birthday together... us Three Musketeers!
The Three Musketeers! That's what we are. Every year, Mom takes Kelley and I out to lunch to celebrate our birthdays together, since our birthday's are only a week apart. This year was no exception, even with mom in the nursing home. Mom is always up to having a good party. In fact, one day Leslie asked her what she was going to miss most when she is gone, and she said "the parties and family get togethers".
We started our day going to church with mom.... a favorite thing for me to do with her. For lunch mom wanted Chinese. It was closed so we choose the next best thing. A Frosty from Wendy's. We added a meal from KFC to make our meal complete.
After lunch, Rachel joined us and we took mom for a walk across the street to CEU. Kelley was pushing mom across the street and hit a (crater) very large crack in the road. We just about dumped her out! That's all we needed... a call to 911 and have our mother picked up from the middle of the road. We surely would have killed her. We quickly turned her wheelchair around and pulled her backwards, making it both easier and safer.
We found a nice shady patio and sat, visited, and enjoyed the beauty of the impending Fall. The fresh air was so pleasant. Mom loves to get out of the care center and into the fresh air as much as possible. She looked like an angel today.... so beautiful and at peace. Kelley is always a hoot and entertained us. We celebrated another wonderful birthday together... us Three Musketeers!
Sunday, October 16, 2011
View from my Mother's Room
September 12, 2011
When I talk to mom on the phone, it hurts my heart to hear sadness, fear, and pain in her voice. I have to yell in the phone for her to hear me. Our conversations have to end all too soon because she is too weak to carry one on. I want to reach through the phone and hug her and take it all away.... the sadness and pain. My grief is so heartfelt and deep for her. I cry sometimes for hours after talking to her. I love my mother so very much. I want to keep her safe. I want her to have joy in her last days on earth. I want to save her from her fears.
Today, I panicked after talking to her on the phone. I was bound and determined that she would come here and live with me after her 100 days in the nursing home were up. I went downstairs and assessed the room where she would stay. It's on the west end of the house. The room is large... enough room for a bed, dressers, her much loved curio cabinet, her living room set. She would rest comfortably. I was so sure! I took a picture of the view from the large window that she could look out every day. Plenty of natural light would fill the room every day. My plan was to show my brothers and sisters the pictures of how nice it would be for mom to live with me. I was sure they would all agree!
I closed my mind to how hard it would really be to care for her, how unrealistic. I just knew I loved my mother with all my heart and wanted to rescue her and make it all better. In my mind I was doing just that.
When I talk to mom on the phone, it hurts my heart to hear sadness, fear, and pain in her voice. I have to yell in the phone for her to hear me. Our conversations have to end all too soon because she is too weak to carry one on. I want to reach through the phone and hug her and take it all away.... the sadness and pain. My grief is so heartfelt and deep for her. I cry sometimes for hours after talking to her. I love my mother so very much. I want to keep her safe. I want her to have joy in her last days on earth. I want to save her from her fears.
Today, I panicked after talking to her on the phone. I was bound and determined that she would come here and live with me after her 100 days in the nursing home were up. I went downstairs and assessed the room where she would stay. It's on the west end of the house. The room is large... enough room for a bed, dressers, her much loved curio cabinet, her living room set. She would rest comfortably. I was so sure! I took a picture of the view from the large window that she could look out every day. Plenty of natural light would fill the room every day. My plan was to show my brothers and sisters the pictures of how nice it would be for mom to live with me. I was sure they would all agree!
I closed my mind to how hard it would really be to care for her, how unrealistic. I just knew I loved my mother with all my heart and wanted to rescue her and make it all better. In my mind I was doing just that.
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