January

January 5 - Snow

We're getting snow. As we should. Afterall, it's January!

January 19 - Fog

It's foggy outside. I love the mysterious look of dense clouds close to the ground. 

You could say I've been in a fog for a couple of weeks... diverticulitis has been bothering me. I've been on a lean liquid and soft food diet. My head feels like it's in a mist. I'm losing weight. That's a good thing, just as long as it doesn't put me in the hospital like last time. 

Dave is out plowing snow so we don't get build-up on the driveway. I like plowing snow, too! It's fun.

January 20 - James

Seriously... this little boy loves to play! He can hardly contain his giggles as mommy picks his legs up and makes a walking motion behind his walker. Got to love the "tongue!" That's a family trademark.

James is the happiest baby I have ever known. Oh... and he makes his grandma the happiest grandma I've ever known! Can you see his "bent-ley" fingers? I want to squeeze him and keep him all baby forever. Can I do that Audrey??

January 23 - Whirlwind trip to Price

I love this picture of Amie and Clint.

Audrey's family and I made a whirlwind trip to Price. We wanted to go to Stake Conference with Amie and Clint. Clint is meeting weekly with the stake missionaries, Brother and Sister Myers, and is getting close to setting a date to be baptized. Brother and Sister Myers are talking in Stake Conference about their missionary experiences. Amie and Clint were kind and gracious hosts this weekend. We packed a lot in!

Clint is getting his "hot dog" pinewood derby car ready for the big race. He let Ben do the painting. And Clint had a new best friend after that! Ben didn't leave his side all weekend. 

Riley has a new car! Pretty slick!

Visiting Graves

I would rather not have these two graves to visit. Oh... I miss my kids so much. It still seems like a bad, bad, dream that I want to wake up from. But it's not going to happen. 

Audrey kneels next to Steve to reverence his resting place. I want to hold my son and tell him how much I love him. I can't wait until that day comes again.

I know Shaniel is our Angel. She ministers in times of need. I also know she is ministering to her brother and watching ever so closely as he heals. She had to be there for him. There was no other way.

Shaniel was always so strong and courageous. She had a way a making you feel safe. She had a way of making you feel like you could do it... hard as it may be. She had a gift that I know she continues in heaven. I'm glad Steve has her! So, very glad. I'm glad they have each other. They always loved each other so much. 

Steve's Family

Hailie is growing into a beautiful young woman. She is sweet, compassionate, and kind. She is so quiet. It's hard to get things out of her head. She keeps it wrapped up pretty tight. She reminds me of her daddy. 

Jarrett is a lover of animals. He has a tender heart towards all God's creatures. He brought this soft cuddly bunny in for us to pet. 

Amitee is growing by leaps and bounds. I am glad she has come into the family at this time. A baby brings so much joy! They are a gift from heaven.

Oh, please... Steve, keep these precious ones close to your heart, always. 

January 29 - Birthday for Steve

James, Kelsey, Carol, Emilee, Audrey

Wearing Ute Red for Steve today. It's his birthday and we girls couldn't think of a better way of celebrating it than spending it together. Bella's is starting to be a tradition of anniversaries, angelversaires, and birthday celebrations. They serve great Mexican dishes, but the owners are very kind people. They are getting to know us quite well. 

January 28 - Brigham City Temple

The Temple President wanted to see me last week. After our visit, he called and set me apart as an ordinance worker for the Brigham City Temple. I have had a yearning to serve in Lord's holy house. Ever since mom and dad were ordinance workers in the Manti Temple I have always had that desire. But it's been more so since the passing of Shaniel and Steven. I want to be in the temple often. To serve, to worship, and to learn. I have so much gratitude in my heart. I can't wait to magnify my calling.

Today was my first day. Isn't the temple so beautiful! 

January 30 - Snowed In!

We are getting snow. Lot's of it. I love it. Winter is so beautiful! Gray clouds and pink sky paint a perfect picture this time of year in Utah. I love where I live. I love Utah. It's such a blessing to have eyes to see, ears to hear, and to feel the soft powdery snow melt through your fingers. My heart is thankful today.

January 31 - Deer prints in the snow

I have proof, in more ways than one, that deer invade our property every night. The biggest clue... deer prints in the snow. And they are everywhere! But, I like it!

Book of Mormon Family Home Evening

This year we are combining our study of the Book of Mormon in Sunday School with Family Home Evening lessons. 

Our first lesson this year was about Lehi's family.

Cast members:
Lehi - Emilee
Sariah - Carol
Laman - Mike
Lemuel - Audrey
Nehpi - Alia
King Benjamin - Ben (he loves King Benjamin and you can't convince him he can be another character sometimes!)
Jacob - James

Lehi's family - We left Jerusalem and wandered for several days in the wilderness before pitching our tents. Laman and Lemuel murmured a lot. Nephi was obedient. He returned to Jerusalem, with his brothers, to get the Plates of Brass. We sang Book of Mormon primary songs and James favorite - Jesus Wants Me For A Sunbeam. Dressing as the characters made an impact with the kids. It was a fun Family Night! We are looking forward to next month.


Month in Review

January Birthdays

Something is so wrong with this picture. Clint and Steven share the same birthday. January 29. Steve would have been 33 years old today. I am so, so sad. How is this even possible?

... Son

You aren't here today to celebrate your birthday. We, your family, celebrated for you! We celebrated your life. The joy and happiness you brought into our lives. The wonderful son and brother that brought tears of laughter from all your funny ways and humor. 

It's only been a few short months since you left us. It's like a bad dream I wish I could wake up from. But I won't. You are gone. In heaven. I don't even know how that is possible. A mother is not suppose to bury her child.

I remember when you were a wee little boy. It seems just like yesterday. If there was a mud puddle to be found, you were there! And if you couldn't find one, you made one. Trucks, little people, boats, farm animals and anything else that you imagined became part of the scene. Your play. Your grin so innocent, yet there was always a hint of mischievousness. When I think back on those days I am reminded how quiet, pleasant, well reserved and mild mannered a boy you were. When out in public I was often complimented on having well behaved children.

Steve, you were a type of Huck Finn. Just give you the outdoors, a stream, a fishing pole made from a stick, and an incubator for hatching baby chicks.... that was your world! You could play for hours by yourself. Just you and your imagination. 

And then... that fire engine cry that was unique to just you. When a tear would well up in those big brown eyes, the left side of your lip followed with a droop (that only you had), and the siren would go off! It wasn't long before your sisters added to your siren. How I miss your fire engine cry! Your mud pie face. Your grin. Your puppy dog eyes. Your innocence.

Oh... if I could only bring back those days of mud, puddles, play, and innocence... I would scoop you up in my arms and hug and kiss you and tell you how much I love you over and over and over again. I'd keep you next to my heart and never let you go. That's what I'd do. I'd keep you my little boy forever.

Oh... you are my boy forever! I'll see you again. We'll laugh and play and gaze in the sky at the vast numbers of stars and count until we can't count anymore. We'll put our feet in the stream and feel the mud squish through our toes. We'll catch a frog and make him a home in the tall green grass. We'll listen to the birds sing and watch the wild flowers bloom. Heaven is a place of beauty. A place of peace. A place rest. And a place for mother's and son's and daughter's to do all that their heart's desire... together. Together forever.